In The Dead Of Night

Extraordinary stuff going on on Playa de Muro beach. The story about the sunbeds situation has cropped up a couple of times already this summer, the most recent being 1 September: “Oh Superman Where Are You Now?” in which I mentioned the fact that Muro council face fines for the over-provision of sunbeds and beach umbrellas. Well now, and not for the first time, things have turned a tad ugly.

One of the concessionaires operating the sunbed lots has had more of his sunbeds slashed. This occurred yesterday some time during the early morning. This concessionaire has had a total of 574 sunbeds wrecked. It will have cost him, he says, 40,000 euros to repair them.

The apparent criminality of these actions is one thing, the other is the potential damage it does to reputation. Imagine if you happen to come down to the beach one morning only to find that sunbeds are unavailable because someone has come along and cut them up in the dead of night. Doesn’t sound too appealing. It does sound as though someone needs to get a grip on the situation.


Back to the future. Following the claim put forward in the last piece on this blog regarding a potential doubling of the number of tourists by 2020, the Balearic Government’s conference, under the title “Plan Turismo 2020”, has moved to increase “added value” in the tourist sector with fewer tourists and higher income. A strategic centrepiece of this is an investigation into the role of development and innovation into increasing the quality and sustainability of the islands’ tourist model. The Government, it would seem, is also keen to promote hotel tourism over residential, about which I have reported before, not least in connection with the registration requirements being placed on holiday lets (itself in part driven by the hotel industry).

The thing is that we have been here before. Higher-quality tourism, less overall tourism and more money. It’s as if the tape is on constant loop. As one who used to be steeped in management and business speak in a previous publishing guise, I have become inured to much of this speak, not to say downright cynical. Added value, strategic positioning ... grand words and phrases. And when governments assume the language of the MBA I become even more sceptical (and I actually have an MBA qualification). The question is where’s the beef.

From what I can make out of the participation at this conference, it is not clear if certain stakeholders (sorry, management speak) are being engaged, such as the representatives of the restaurants, bars, shops etc. And what of the tourist himself? Whilst governments can, if they so wish, switch on or off the level of tourism, ultimate power lies in the market, namely the consumer (the tourist) and the tour operator.

(Source for some of these two items: “Ultima Hora”.)


QUIZ
Last time. Test tube babies. Geoff puts it at 6565, which would mean that Zager and Evans were only some 4,500 years out. But, hey, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll. Today’s title - what sang in the dead of night?

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Oh Superman Where Are You Now?

I don’t know, I get pretty confused. All this statistical stuff. We’re back to the subject of how well, or not, restaurants have been doing this season. On 16 August (“Bad”), I referred to a survey by the small and medium-sized business organisation which suggested that restaurants, notably in Alcúdia and Can Picafort, were doing less well than last year and that the apparent late start of the high season was one of the factors (together with all-inclusives). So, what are we supposed to make of another survey emanating from the same organisation which suggests, in the case of Puerto Alcúdia, the opposite?

Restaurants in Puerto Pollensa and Puerto Alcúdia have had increases in numbers of up to 15% and up to 10% in spend. This contradicts the earlier report. Moreover, the latest survey says that June and July were better than August. Fair enough, I said this on 16 August, but this does also contradict the earlier report’s finding that the allegedly late start to the season was a reason for poor performance.

As I say, I don’t know, albeit that poor old Can Picafort is consistent - down by as much as 10% of spend.


And so to a follow-up to the issue I raised on 15 July (“200 Motels”). This concerned the over-availability of sun loungers and umbrellas on the beach at Playa de Muro. Now it seems that Muro council could be fined because there are too many, which would be passed to the concessionaires, already liable to fines from the council itself. Confused? Well, check back to 15 July for a bit more of an explanation.

Muro council is very much in the naughty chair at the moment because of the presence of dogs and horses on the beach and harm to the dunes. Well, well, here’s something else I had previously brought up (24 May: A Horse, Of Course). Something odd happened a couple of months back. I went to check the information board on my bit of beach in Playa de Muro, and it had gone. Disappeared. Now, that board for sure had a no-dogs sign, so why was it removed? Very odd.

As to the dunes, I’m also a bit confused. As far as I am aware, the dunes form part of the nature park and are therefore the responsibility of the relevant ministry. Indeed the sign that was put up when part of the dunes were roped off made this clear; there was the Government’s motif and that of S’Albufera. The criticism of the council specfically refers to the “elimination” of the dunes. I suspect that this does not envisage the head of the council standing at the water’s edge Cnut-like trying to ward off the waves. All I can think is that this suggests that the dunes have been built on or are being used for some reason or another. There is no doubt that this is the case, in the sense that hotels (and houses) have been built on what were dunes, but that is historical. What are they going to do? Plough the bulldozers into a few Iberostars? I don’t think so. Otherwise, the dunes aren’t, from what I can see, used for anything except for the Balnearios, which have also been there for years.

Confused? I am.


QUIZ
Yesterday - Will Smith “Men in Black”. Today’s title: it is a line from a song that echoes the theme of this piece.

PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

200 Motels

And more on beach umbrellas. Beach umbrellas and sunbeds. In Can Picafort and Playa de Muro there is a little local issue regarding the numbers of umbrellas and sunbeds on the beaches. In Can Picafort, part of the beach (in Son Bauló) has had a different problem - there not being any. But the issue on the main beach and in Muro is that there are too many. Seems this has all to do with the fact that when the concessions are being sorted out, there are secret tenders handed to the town halls. There are about four main concessionaires, and they try and outbid each other for the various “lots”. Obvious you would think, but the bids are excessively high in order to get the lots. So the town halls trouser a goodly sum and then wait for additional income through fines. That’s because the concessionaire, having handed over so many folding notes, puts out more sunbed and umbrella sets than are prescribed. Why? In order to coin back the outlay. The fines are doubtless budgeted for in the concessionaire’s business plan. They are not ordered to remove the excessive numbers of sunbeds; just fined. And they, the concessionaires, continue to charge about 8.50euros - per use - for a sunbed and umbrella set. Anyway, the local residents and neighbourhood groups have had enough, and have complained, grounds being that there is less “public” space, i.e. beach, and more and more commercialised space.


The 200th post to this blog was recently attained. Seems like 2000. Anyway, to celebrate here is a 200 quiz. “200 Motels” as a title is in honour of the fact that between Alcúdia, Pollensa, Playa de Muro and Can Picafort, there are at least 200 hotels or other such establishments, if not motels. This was the title of an album by whom? And then there is also this lyric: “She's 200 years old. So mean, she couldn't grow no lips. Boy, she'd be in trouble if she tried to grow a moustache”. Who? The answer is the same for both questions. And what is the lyric’s reference to? Yesterday - Band Aid. Of course.

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Accidents

There are things that occasionally trouble or intrigue me. It happened today.

It was windy on the beach. Umbrellas were flying. It was then that I wondered. Has anyone ever been killed by a beach umbrella? On the one hand, the spiky bit isn’t usually that sharp; on the other, if the wind lifts an umbrella with sufficient force and at sufficient velocity it could do some serious damage. What would happen if, say, an umbrella were to remove an eye? It may seem unlikely, but ... . Who would pay? Indeed, would the owner of the offending umbrella be liable?

This all reminds me of a time in the south of France when a group (make that a crowd) of nudists, irate because the local plod was attempting to intervene in (i.e. stop) their regular evening, er, entertainment in the dunes - I don’t think I need to spell it out - responded to the police’s action by showering them with beach umbrellas being used as javelins. Apparently it did the trick. Until, that is, plod deployed dobbin. Sounded like splendid fun. Wish I had actually seen it. But the point (as it were) was that the police were sufficiently concerned by the potential harm that the beach umbrella could cause to beat a temporary retreat.

Of course if the umbrella is actually lobbed at someone, it would - presumably - be classified as an offensive weapon, but I still wonder. So, if anyone can enlighten me as to the legal situation regarding accidents-by-beach-umbrella, I will be very grateful.


Different form of accident. Road. Guess which road? Oh yes, the Carretera Arta. Now I did say - ages ago - that these new roundabouts are a bit tight. This may have been a factor. That, and excessive speed, I’d wager. By the Pointed Thing Roundabout, someone had hammered into a couple of parked cars and some trikes. I can well imagine. Too quick through the roundabout. Found it was too tight. Hit the island, Crash, bang, wallop. It wasn’t pretty.

Quiz: Well, everyone got it. Abba. Today’s title. Man, is this a good question. Which group, generally remembered as one-hit wonders (because they were) released a single with this title as a failed follow-up to their one great hit? (Clue: it wasn’t anything to do with noted (?) Mallorca-frequenting one-hit wonder Leapy Lee.)

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