So, on Monday, the truth is going to be revealed about Magalluf. It will be the truth according to the BBC and the BBC's Stacey Dooley in particular. I hadn't heard of Ms. Dooley prior to the publicity being given to "The Truth About Magalluf" (BBC3, 9pm), but it appears that she specialises (or someone has created the wherewithal for her to specialise) in getting to the heart of the matter on such issues as kids with machetes (child soldiers) and tourism. She has previously revealed that all-inclusive hotels in Kenya don't exactly contribute a great deal to the local economy or benefit local people. Which is a revelation that does need making, and it isn't one that is exclusive to Kenya.
Not being familiar with Ms. Dooley's oeuvre, I shall reserve judgement until the truth has been revealed about Magalluf, but the advance publicity leaves little doubt as to what this truth entails; it's what everyone knows to be the problems that Magalluf faces, and as such, they hardly need repeating. But of what the programme is to show, explicit sex antics have already been done by "Geordie Shore", balcony-diving has been done to death (literally in some cases) and been the subject of a widely publicised campaign involving Tom Daley, heavy drinking has been a facet of Magalluf tourism life for tourism time immemorial, violence has been around since as long as British tourists murdered a taxi driver (and before). So what is really going to be new? The violence and muggings by prostitutes might be, where some viewers are concerned, but these aren't new where people in Magalluf are concerned.
The local Spanish press is giving the programme ample pre-publicity. Anything that comes with the BBC attached to it normally is, even if the programme isn't on one of the main channels. It is a mark of the influence of the BBC that when its reporters come calling, a Spanish readership gets to know about them. Paul Mason's "The Great Spanish Crash", the one that the Spanish Government have taken exception to, was afforded a good deal of publicity when it was being made. The reason why was because it was the BBC. A further reason why was that questions were raised as to why Spanish television and reporters weren't allowed to do something similar or weren't able to.
Mason has, in some quarters, been criticised for a sensationalist style of presentation not in keeping with the BBC's traditions, which is a load of bollocks. The BBC, as with other broadcasters, has adapted to the demands of the times. The result may not be Richard Dimbleby, but then he's been dead for donkey's years. Doubtless, Ms. Dooley will be accused of similar sensationalism, but the sensationalism is not so much how a programme is made as the subject matter. If it's there, if it happens to exist and to reflect a situation, then it isn't sensationalist as such. It can become so if it exaggerates a situation and fails to reflect the lighter side of Magalluf and not only its "dark side" (and the Spanish press is making it clear that the dark side is what is going to be reflected).
The fact is, however, that the BBC is not the first. Spanish TV has also had a look at Magalluf, and the reaction was pretty negative where Magalluf business owners were concerned, as it was for the showing of the "Geordie Shore" Magalluf special on MTV Spain. But ultimately, what impact does such a programme have? It may make parents concerned about where their youngsters are off to for their holiday initiations, but I don't know that it has much impact on the youngsters themselves. And which youngsters are these? They are mainly British. Magalluf, you might be surprised to know, isn't that well known by some other nationalities; the Germans, for example, as their Magalluf is Arenal. The Russians had never heard of Magalluf until very recently, and they are being herded into the brand spanking new developments in the resort.
I was in Magalluf yesterday. These developments are striking. The Wave House, Nikki Beach, they look very good, and there is more to come. The programme probably won't dwell on these developments, and why should it? It's not a travelogue. But this will be the reaction of some who will complain of a lack of balance and look to attack the BBC yet again. It's an absurd reaction. A point I have made before and will continue to make is that journalism is not about balance. A programme is made, an article is written with a purpose not with a requirement for everything to be weighed equally.
The programme will cause some bluster and some outrage, but it will be quickly forgotten, unless people are inclined to keep banging on about it. But it will be hugely hypocritical if the reaction implies bias. As far as I can make out, nothing that is in this programme is unknown; all of it is known, and it is known because the local media talks about it and because local people and local business owners complain about it.
QUIZ: Yesterday - Grace Kelly and Mika.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
Showing posts with label BBC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BBC. Show all posts
Saturday, January 05, 2013
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Smoke And Mirrors: Brand Spain
Another day, another website. Ah, but what a website. One for the whole of Spain, but not any old Spain. This is "brand Spain": marcaespaña.gob.es. At some point in the not too distant future, you will be able to enjoy this website in English - I do hope therefore that they do something about the "gob" bit, someone really ought to tell them - but for now it is only in Spanish.
It is an odd thing, to say the least. The very title is odd, or might appear to be. Is there such a thing as a "brand Britain"? Actually, there is, and it is a website about designing brands, not about Britain as a brand. In Spain, the momentum behind establishing Spain as a brand started almost 30 years ago, in that the term "marca España" was first adopted, if only by a journalist. Since then, it has become official. And so official has it become that in June this year, a high commission for "brand Spain" within the national government was created. The website is the first obvious evidence of the commission's remit to, among other things, adopt measures to improve the external image of Spain.
The trouble with this title, though, is that it sounds presumptuous and even desperate. Why not just call the website "Spain"? A brand acquires brand status through the awareness of its reputation and its attributes and the constant reinforcement of these attributes. It doesn't acquire these simply because you call something a brand; literally, call it a brand. The desperation stems from marketing wrongheadedness that seeks to convince, by being so blatant, that all is well and good in the state of the brand of Spain.
The media, and not just foreign media, have considered the strength of this brand and were doing so before the launch of the high commission. There is, and the national government really should be aware of this, an appreciation that Spain as a brand, by which one really means its international standing and reputation, has taken an almighty great hammering. Creating a website and undertaking some sort of internet charm offensive aren't going to alter this; not in the short term at any rate. That the website is currently only in Spanish makes it appear as though it is less for international consumption and more for domestic propaganda. Again, I am afraid the government doesn't quite get it; Spanish people are not blind to the problems that the country faces and they are unlikely to be convinced by having the "brand Spain" message shoved down their throats.
At present, the website is very much for the home market. Its home page (as of 21 December anyway) reveals the face of someone who looks, on first glance, not dissimilar to Mariano Rajoy. It is in fact Jordí Folgado. Who is? No idea. The site has a message from the high commissioner for "marca España". The image of Spain overseas is "very solid" and "respected", he says. Spain's businesses are "admired", he continues. Which is fine, but then you wouldn't expect him to say otherwise.
At the end of this message, there is a tell-tale expression. "Marca España no quiere vender humo." What this means is that "brand Spain" does not wish to sell something that has no worth. One can apply an English metaphor or word instead; smoke and mirrors or smokescreen. It is a shocking mistake by the high commissioner or by the person who wrote his message for him. By introducing the notion of "vender humo", even if it is to refute it, some will assume that it is indeed all about smoke and mirrors. So why even mention it?
Why has the Spanish Government got so upset about the BBC programme, "The Great Spanish Crash"? Well, one reason is because it came out right on cue; just as the website was being launched. The government, through its ambassador, has complained to the BBC about Paul Mason's programme, but all that Mason has done is to delve into much of what is already known. Indeed, he had written about some of the issues in Valencia, on which the programme concentrated, on the BBC's website over almost three months previously.
The government would rather that attention was not paid to the various causes of the economic crisis, of course it would, and there is many a commentator, some of them Spanish, who see issues such as Gibraltar and Catalonia as smokescreens to divert attention. The government does this while at the same time influencing the neutering of leading journalists at the national broadcaster who ask difficult questions. Who else will the government complain about? Giles Tremlett at "The Guardian"? Javier Cercas at "El País"? Stefanie Müller, the German journalist who laid into the corrupt nature of the political system? Or how about the consultants Brand Finance which issued a report in August which reckoned that the "marca España" had lost 38% of its value in two years?
There are reasons why the brand has lost value, but the BBC and journalists aren't one of them.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
It is an odd thing, to say the least. The very title is odd, or might appear to be. Is there such a thing as a "brand Britain"? Actually, there is, and it is a website about designing brands, not about Britain as a brand. In Spain, the momentum behind establishing Spain as a brand started almost 30 years ago, in that the term "marca España" was first adopted, if only by a journalist. Since then, it has become official. And so official has it become that in June this year, a high commission for "brand Spain" within the national government was created. The website is the first obvious evidence of the commission's remit to, among other things, adopt measures to improve the external image of Spain.
The trouble with this title, though, is that it sounds presumptuous and even desperate. Why not just call the website "Spain"? A brand acquires brand status through the awareness of its reputation and its attributes and the constant reinforcement of these attributes. It doesn't acquire these simply because you call something a brand; literally, call it a brand. The desperation stems from marketing wrongheadedness that seeks to convince, by being so blatant, that all is well and good in the state of the brand of Spain.
The media, and not just foreign media, have considered the strength of this brand and were doing so before the launch of the high commission. There is, and the national government really should be aware of this, an appreciation that Spain as a brand, by which one really means its international standing and reputation, has taken an almighty great hammering. Creating a website and undertaking some sort of internet charm offensive aren't going to alter this; not in the short term at any rate. That the website is currently only in Spanish makes it appear as though it is less for international consumption and more for domestic propaganda. Again, I am afraid the government doesn't quite get it; Spanish people are not blind to the problems that the country faces and they are unlikely to be convinced by having the "brand Spain" message shoved down their throats.
At present, the website is very much for the home market. Its home page (as of 21 December anyway) reveals the face of someone who looks, on first glance, not dissimilar to Mariano Rajoy. It is in fact Jordí Folgado. Who is? No idea. The site has a message from the high commissioner for "marca España". The image of Spain overseas is "very solid" and "respected", he says. Spain's businesses are "admired", he continues. Which is fine, but then you wouldn't expect him to say otherwise.
At the end of this message, there is a tell-tale expression. "Marca España no quiere vender humo." What this means is that "brand Spain" does not wish to sell something that has no worth. One can apply an English metaphor or word instead; smoke and mirrors or smokescreen. It is a shocking mistake by the high commissioner or by the person who wrote his message for him. By introducing the notion of "vender humo", even if it is to refute it, some will assume that it is indeed all about smoke and mirrors. So why even mention it?
Why has the Spanish Government got so upset about the BBC programme, "The Great Spanish Crash"? Well, one reason is because it came out right on cue; just as the website was being launched. The government, through its ambassador, has complained to the BBC about Paul Mason's programme, but all that Mason has done is to delve into much of what is already known. Indeed, he had written about some of the issues in Valencia, on which the programme concentrated, on the BBC's website over almost three months previously.
The government would rather that attention was not paid to the various causes of the economic crisis, of course it would, and there is many a commentator, some of them Spanish, who see issues such as Gibraltar and Catalonia as smokescreens to divert attention. The government does this while at the same time influencing the neutering of leading journalists at the national broadcaster who ask difficult questions. Who else will the government complain about? Giles Tremlett at "The Guardian"? Javier Cercas at "El País"? Stefanie Müller, the German journalist who laid into the corrupt nature of the political system? Or how about the consultants Brand Finance which issued a report in August which reckoned that the "marca España" had lost 38% of its value in two years?
There are reasons why the brand has lost value, but the BBC and journalists aren't one of them.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
Labels:
BBC,
Brand Spain,
Marca España,
Paul Mason,
Spanish Government,
Websites
Sunday, November 09, 2008
You Shouldn't Do That
The tourism authorities have announced the figures of their annual cull of illegal holiday rentals on the islands. They are up, quite significantly so; perhaps all that trawling through websites in search of unregistered holiday accommodation has borne some fruit after all. There is nothing wrong with the authorities clamping down on this. It is not just undeclared income that is an issue, there are also those of safety, insurance and quality. However, there is another side to this, and that is how easy it may or may not be for owners to get the correct registration in the first place. And then there has also been some considerable confusion as to what regulations apply to which properties. This was meant to have been clarified this year, in that apartments were specifically referred to, as opposed to stand-alone houses and villas.
Whatever the legalities, there remains the suspicion that much of the drive to regulate holiday lets, which may mean a reduction in their offer, has come from the hoteliers. There have, for example, been the odd pronouncements that Mallorca's future lies with a high quality of hotel accommodation, which undoubtedly is correct, however the private rental sector tends to be overlooked, except when it comes to hammering it with regulation. But there is a contradiction here in that the increase in the do-it-yourself holiday, facilitated by the ease of airline bookings, has also led to an increased demand for rental property. Moreover, this market tends to be precisely the sort of market that the island appears to crave, i.e. it is one with a fair amount of spare dosh sloshing around to be spent in the island's economy. There are also plenty of holidaymakers who want the flexibility to be able to choose their preferred type of accommodation, and many simply do not want to stay in hotels, whatever the hoteliers might wish.
This all said, it is not as if the hotels themselves do not get inspected. The season just finished has seen the tourist authorities taking an interest in all-inclusive offers. They report that the number of exclusive all-inclusive hotels in the Balearics has increased slightly, whilst the number of those hotels which offer AI as an option has gone down. But that is all that they report. What one hears as a complaint is the degree to which holidaymakers, on arrival, are then made an offer of all-inclusive board; illegally, or so the complaint goes - I'm unclear on this. For the holidaymaker, it can seem a good deal. A relatively low daily rate of twelve or fourteen euros let's say, and everything they want - up to a point. The problem is what the holidaymaker then gets, and we are back to the issue of the actual quality of the AI offer in many instances - low-grade food and drink and slow service.
ROSS AND BRAND
As everyone and his dog has said his or her say about the Ross-Brand affair, I thought, well, why don't I. This may not sound a blog issue, but there are two aspects as to why it is. Firstly, there is the BBC angle. Take it from me, when one lives here, one really appreciates the BBC. Having largely foregone television, there is but radio, and BBC's internet radio, even without the overseas streaming for some sporting events, is an endless source of wonder. They should charge an overseas licence; I'd pay it, no problem. Secondly, there has been here the inevitable parroting of the opprobrium that has rained down on the heads of Messrs Ross and Brand and the BBC, our old mate Leapy Lee included in the critics. I wonder in all this, though, how many people actually heard the broadcast when it originally went out. Not on youtube after the event, by which stage prejudices had been established, but at the time. I was one who did, and I listened precisely because I knew the combination of the two was likely to get very "edgy"; and that of course was what happened. It was surrealistically funny in that someone of such minor celebrity as Andrew Sachs should be the point of what did get out of hand. With hindsight of course it shouldn't have been broadcast, but, apart from the "suicide" reference, which did take me aback, I personally wasn't offended by it.
But why should this whole affair matter to expats who no longer live in the UK? It ranks alongside all the other news and events from the UK as being more important than anything that occurs in Mallorca, be these to do with the British government, the NHS, education, the "broken society", sports teams or the BBC. It comes back, I suppose, to what I've said before about integration, or the lack thereof, and the pervasiveness and convenience of the media. Ross and Brand are as significant in their relative insignificance to the expat in Spain as they are to his or her relatives and friends back in the shires of England and in the rest of the UK.
QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Mari Wilson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWFPqGLbVa0). Today's title - from a song about transvestitism; originally by an iconic American band and covered by an iconic Manchester band.
(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)
Whatever the legalities, there remains the suspicion that much of the drive to regulate holiday lets, which may mean a reduction in their offer, has come from the hoteliers. There have, for example, been the odd pronouncements that Mallorca's future lies with a high quality of hotel accommodation, which undoubtedly is correct, however the private rental sector tends to be overlooked, except when it comes to hammering it with regulation. But there is a contradiction here in that the increase in the do-it-yourself holiday, facilitated by the ease of airline bookings, has also led to an increased demand for rental property. Moreover, this market tends to be precisely the sort of market that the island appears to crave, i.e. it is one with a fair amount of spare dosh sloshing around to be spent in the island's economy. There are also plenty of holidaymakers who want the flexibility to be able to choose their preferred type of accommodation, and many simply do not want to stay in hotels, whatever the hoteliers might wish.
This all said, it is not as if the hotels themselves do not get inspected. The season just finished has seen the tourist authorities taking an interest in all-inclusive offers. They report that the number of exclusive all-inclusive hotels in the Balearics has increased slightly, whilst the number of those hotels which offer AI as an option has gone down. But that is all that they report. What one hears as a complaint is the degree to which holidaymakers, on arrival, are then made an offer of all-inclusive board; illegally, or so the complaint goes - I'm unclear on this. For the holidaymaker, it can seem a good deal. A relatively low daily rate of twelve or fourteen euros let's say, and everything they want - up to a point. The problem is what the holidaymaker then gets, and we are back to the issue of the actual quality of the AI offer in many instances - low-grade food and drink and slow service.
ROSS AND BRAND
As everyone and his dog has said his or her say about the Ross-Brand affair, I thought, well, why don't I. This may not sound a blog issue, but there are two aspects as to why it is. Firstly, there is the BBC angle. Take it from me, when one lives here, one really appreciates the BBC. Having largely foregone television, there is but radio, and BBC's internet radio, even without the overseas streaming for some sporting events, is an endless source of wonder. They should charge an overseas licence; I'd pay it, no problem. Secondly, there has been here the inevitable parroting of the opprobrium that has rained down on the heads of Messrs Ross and Brand and the BBC, our old mate Leapy Lee included in the critics. I wonder in all this, though, how many people actually heard the broadcast when it originally went out. Not on youtube after the event, by which stage prejudices had been established, but at the time. I was one who did, and I listened precisely because I knew the combination of the two was likely to get very "edgy"; and that of course was what happened. It was surrealistically funny in that someone of such minor celebrity as Andrew Sachs should be the point of what did get out of hand. With hindsight of course it shouldn't have been broadcast, but, apart from the "suicide" reference, which did take me aback, I personally wasn't offended by it.
But why should this whole affair matter to expats who no longer live in the UK? It ranks alongside all the other news and events from the UK as being more important than anything that occurs in Mallorca, be these to do with the British government, the NHS, education, the "broken society", sports teams or the BBC. It comes back, I suppose, to what I've said before about integration, or the lack thereof, and the pervasiveness and convenience of the media. Ross and Brand are as significant in their relative insignificance to the expat in Spain as they are to his or her relatives and friends back in the shires of England and in the rest of the UK.
QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Mari Wilson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWFPqGLbVa0). Today's title - from a song about transvestitism; originally by an iconic American band and covered by an iconic Manchester band.
(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)
Labels:
Alcúdia,
All-inclusives,
BBC,
Expatriates,
Holiday lets,
Hotels,
Mallorca,
Pollensa,
Radio
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Rubber Ball I Come Bouncing Back To You
The BBC came to Puerto Alcúdia yesterday. Well, a Breakfast show reporter and a camera and sound crew did. Wonder where they stayed. Nice work if you can get it I suppose. I didn't see it, but I know someone who did, so this is all second-hand, but I could hardly let such a huge news item pass without mention. Apparently they didn't drag a sofa out onto the beach and interview some local celebs, of which there are very few; in fact none that spring immediately to mind. They did interview some Brit tourists - family of four, couple of old dears and someone engaged in projectile vomiting following an all-night bender; normal sort of thing.
From these chats it would seem that, despite credit crunches, recessions, global warming, plagues of locusts or whatever else might be on the horizon, the tourists will still come because of the British weather - and it was only up around the 30 mark yesterday in parts of the old country. There was also an interview with Bellevue, well not the whole of it but a director. Don't know which one; my mole didn't actually stretch to noting down names. Whoever it was said that people were spending less this year - yes, I think we knew that - but that they were spending what money they had on less frivolous things. What, would that be cartons of cigarettes and bottles of spirits? He also said that bookings were up. Really? Not what I'd heard. Unless last year's were particularly low. A little bird, actually a pretty big one, told me that there was a fair old amount of knock-down being flogged to Spaniards, so perhaps the numbers are indeed up.
But it seems that the BBC showed a number of nice shots of Alcúdia, the beach, the mountains, the promenade etc. Pretty good publicity, reckoned my contact. Yea, it would be, like the publicity when the Holiday programme, a few years back, voted Alcúdia the best beach in the Med. Damn good publicity. Publicity to do something with. Wonder if the town hall knows. Wonder if they ever knew about that Holiday programme vote.
Perhaps it was the BBC crawling all over the beach that put a stop to it, but there was meant to have been a beach handball competition going on at the "sports beach" yesterday. I went along. I quite like handball. There were the stands that sit on the beach at the top of The Mile; there were a couple of games going on; and there was not sight nor sound of a handball player. Maybe they thought it was too hot.
Handball is a mystery game to the Brit, be it on sand or on court. It's all that cricket I suppose, but the British never took to court sports that involved putting balls into nets or over them, except with the aid of a racket or if they were girls at grammar schools. I once partook in a battle of the sexes netball game. It had all looked so easy until it started. Basketball only ever caught on because it was well and truly Niked and given street cred, and afforded the opportunity for lengthy spells of on-court posing and speaking in Americanisms: dee-fence. Other nations can't get enough of these sports. Stick a bunch of Germans on a beach and within five minutes they'll have rigged up a volleyball net.
There was a time when the beach was a relatively sedate place. Not now it isn't. Football started it, and before we knew it every beach was staging a mini-Olympics. The one sport with a strong beach tradition which isn't much played here is cricket. Try getting the ball to lift off a good length on Alcúdia or Muro beach. Sand's too fine. You need some good tidal flats for a game of beach cricket. Preferably, therefore, the ideal beach sport doesn't actually involve the beach. Football is only any good if you can give the ball a firm old welly; otherwise it's that sand again. There are any number of potential beach sports that could avoid the inconvenience of sand - beach javelin, beach hammer throw, beach target shooting. Something tells me though that they might not quite catch on.
There is one "sport", one sport alone that needs to be shown the door of the beach stadium and cast into the wilderness of the utterly irritating - bloody paddle tennis with those wooden rackets. Try getting some beach shut-eye and along come a couple of wannabe Nadalists and ... dock-dock, dock-dock. Stop it.
Anyway, coming back to handball. There is an Alcúdia handball team. Not that you would expect to find its numbers filled with Brits; it is very much the preserve of continental Europeans, such as Frederick at Bistro Bell and Erik from the El Limón estate agency who play for the team. Like the Alcúdia rugby team of which I spoke some months ago, it is not widely known that these teams exist. Perhaps the BBC should come and broadcast their matches.
Finally - there was a comment sent for Sunday's piece from someone who seemed to want some advice on real estate. There was an email address which was bounced back, so who knows, but if the sender reads this, please use the email address below and not the comments facility. Thank you.
QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Tommy Steele, "Little White Bull". There is a karaoke youtube but it lacks the brilliance of Dimple Diamond who himself should do a version of this Uncle Mac classic. Today's title - who did that bouncing?
(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)
From these chats it would seem that, despite credit crunches, recessions, global warming, plagues of locusts or whatever else might be on the horizon, the tourists will still come because of the British weather - and it was only up around the 30 mark yesterday in parts of the old country. There was also an interview with Bellevue, well not the whole of it but a director. Don't know which one; my mole didn't actually stretch to noting down names. Whoever it was said that people were spending less this year - yes, I think we knew that - but that they were spending what money they had on less frivolous things. What, would that be cartons of cigarettes and bottles of spirits? He also said that bookings were up. Really? Not what I'd heard. Unless last year's were particularly low. A little bird, actually a pretty big one, told me that there was a fair old amount of knock-down being flogged to Spaniards, so perhaps the numbers are indeed up.
But it seems that the BBC showed a number of nice shots of Alcúdia, the beach, the mountains, the promenade etc. Pretty good publicity, reckoned my contact. Yea, it would be, like the publicity when the Holiday programme, a few years back, voted Alcúdia the best beach in the Med. Damn good publicity. Publicity to do something with. Wonder if the town hall knows. Wonder if they ever knew about that Holiday programme vote.
Perhaps it was the BBC crawling all over the beach that put a stop to it, but there was meant to have been a beach handball competition going on at the "sports beach" yesterday. I went along. I quite like handball. There were the stands that sit on the beach at the top of The Mile; there were a couple of games going on; and there was not sight nor sound of a handball player. Maybe they thought it was too hot.
Handball is a mystery game to the Brit, be it on sand or on court. It's all that cricket I suppose, but the British never took to court sports that involved putting balls into nets or over them, except with the aid of a racket or if they were girls at grammar schools. I once partook in a battle of the sexes netball game. It had all looked so easy until it started. Basketball only ever caught on because it was well and truly Niked and given street cred, and afforded the opportunity for lengthy spells of on-court posing and speaking in Americanisms: dee-fence. Other nations can't get enough of these sports. Stick a bunch of Germans on a beach and within five minutes they'll have rigged up a volleyball net.
There was a time when the beach was a relatively sedate place. Not now it isn't. Football started it, and before we knew it every beach was staging a mini-Olympics. The one sport with a strong beach tradition which isn't much played here is cricket. Try getting the ball to lift off a good length on Alcúdia or Muro beach. Sand's too fine. You need some good tidal flats for a game of beach cricket. Preferably, therefore, the ideal beach sport doesn't actually involve the beach. Football is only any good if you can give the ball a firm old welly; otherwise it's that sand again. There are any number of potential beach sports that could avoid the inconvenience of sand - beach javelin, beach hammer throw, beach target shooting. Something tells me though that they might not quite catch on.
There is one "sport", one sport alone that needs to be shown the door of the beach stadium and cast into the wilderness of the utterly irritating - bloody paddle tennis with those wooden rackets. Try getting some beach shut-eye and along come a couple of wannabe Nadalists and ... dock-dock, dock-dock. Stop it.
Anyway, coming back to handball. There is an Alcúdia handball team. Not that you would expect to find its numbers filled with Brits; it is very much the preserve of continental Europeans, such as Frederick at Bistro Bell and Erik from the El Limón estate agency who play for the team. Like the Alcúdia rugby team of which I spoke some months ago, it is not widely known that these teams exist. Perhaps the BBC should come and broadcast their matches.
Finally - there was a comment sent for Sunday's piece from someone who seemed to want some advice on real estate. There was an email address which was bounced back, so who knows, but if the sender reads this, please use the email address below and not the comments facility. Thank you.
QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Tommy Steele, "Little White Bull". There is a karaoke youtube but it lacks the brilliance of Dimple Diamond who himself should do a version of this Uncle Mac classic. Today's title - who did that bouncing?
(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)
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